Junior High Bus Drama

Suddenly I remember how much I hated junior high school. Such a petty, self-absorbed, cliquey time of life--someone once said that in the perfect world, we would move straight from kindergarten into college. AMEN.

Izzy came home earlier this week and said that her friend had been knocked to the floor of the bus by a 9th grader who was determined to get to the back seat. I doubt the friend was actually knocked to the floor; junior high students are superbly dramatic. But any contact is too much; any threatening or name-calling is inappropriate. So I made what I thought was a relatively innocuous and general post on Facebook that 9th graders had better not be bullying other kids on the bus over a seat, or else I'd start calling their moms. Doesn't that seem like an acceptable response? I thought so. But I was wrong, because I'm not the parent of a 9th grader, so I don't understand that tradition supersedes human kindness.

The parent of a 9th grader quickly responded to my post and informed me that although bullying is not OK, it is nevertheless tradition that 9th graders sit in the back. I guess at all costs, that's a tradition that should be preserved. The conversation escalated and a few others joined in. And ultimately, although it wasn't explicitly said, it was clearly indicated by the 9th grade parent that the only way to avoid bullying is to make sure that 7th and 8th graders don't even try to occupy the sacred back-row space. After all, the 9th graders were bullied, too when they were younger, and they've waited a long time to claim their rightful place. 7th and 8th graders should expect no less grief, and no more privilege. (Editorial note: In fairness, this parent really doesn't condone bullying. I think she was having trouble supporting me on this one because of some historical resentments that she harbors toward Izzy following a conflict between Izzy and her son last year. She probably felt a little vindicated to learn that Izzy had been bullied a bit. I might have too in her position...Izzy was the bully-er last year instead of the bully-ee. Not that any bullying is ok--then OR now, but...)

In order to try to keep some kind of peace with said parent and to disengage from the already over-inflated level of conflict that arose, I urged Izzy to stay as far away from the back row as possible. Just stand, Rosa Parks. The seats are saved for the white people, and we don't want to be causing any unnecessary trouble. This isn't the civil rights movement, and no one is about to applaud rebellion against the tradition (NO--I didn't say any of that to Izzy). But Izzy is a 7th grader. Which means she's stubborn and not great at seeing the big picture. So I shouldn't have been so surprised when she sent me a text this afternoon saying, "Me and Morgan were the first people on the bus so we're sitting in the back row!" What victory did she think she had won? And why was she surprised that the venerable 9th graders spent the bus ride home calling her a "douche-bag," a "geek," a "loser," etc. Verbal abuse can only be expected since she broke the sacred code. Right?

A mature person would have sat in the middle of the bus simply to avoid the conflict. A mature person would have let a 7th grader sit in the back without getting all upset about rights and traditions. A mature person would have realized that life is crappy enough without cluttering it with the most stupid battle ever waged. But these aren't mature people. They are junior high students. And the sooner they stop being junior high students, the better.